SAFTEY PLANNING

LEAVING A VIOLENT RELATIONSHIP IS THE MOST DANGEROUS TIME FOR A WOMAN AND HER CHILDREN. THE ABUSER WILL DO ANYTHING TO REGAIN CONTROL OF HIS VICTIMS AND MAKE THEM VULNERABLE. PLAN AHEAD FOR YOUR SAFETY.

If you would like to find a Victim Advocate in your area, click on RESOURCES above.

SAFETY DURING A VIOLENT INCIDENT

I will use the windows, doors, elevator, stairs, or fire escape to get away
My keys are in my purse or in a safe place so I can leave quickly
My friends/family/neighbors are aware of my situation and can call police if needed
My children know how to dial 911 for help
My children and I have a ‘code word’ to call for help
I have made arrangements with friends, family, or with a shelter when I do leave
I have a plan B & C just in case my original plan does not work
When arguments arise, I go to a low risk place in the house (avoiding the bathroom, garage or kitchen where weapons can be in the room)

PROTECTION ORDERS

I understand that the Protection Order is there to protect me and my children
I will keep a copy of the Protection Order with me at all times
I will make copies and give to someone I trust; friends, school, work, daycare, etc.
I will call the police immediately if my partner violates the Protection Order
I will use my escape route if the police cannot respond immediately
I will give my neighbors a picture of my partner and ask them to call the police if they see him near my home
I will seek medical treatment immediately if I or my children have been physically injured
I will document my abuse and injuries (take photos of injuries, get copies of doctor’s reports and police reports)

SAFETY PREPARATION

I have money and an extra set of keys with a friend/neighbor so I can leave quickly
Some people I can ask for extra money and a place to stay are:___________________
I keep a list of safe numbers to call if I need help
I have extra clothes ready for myself and my children
I have extra copies of all important documents for myself and my children
I can open a savings account now to establish credit and financial independence. I am prepared to close my existing bank account and open a new one elsewhere.
I will use cash only and will not use credit or debit cards (these can be tracked by my abuser)
I know the passwords and PIN numbers for my accounts and how to change them
I have called my cell phone company and asked them to disable the GPS chip in my phone so my abuser can’t use my cell phone to track my location
I know the password for my email account and how to change it

SAFETY ON THE JOB AND IN PUBLIC

I will inform my employer that I have a Protection Order
I can ask that my calls be screened at work
I will give a picture of my abuser to co-workers and security guards
I will always take extra precautions of my surroundings when I am alone
I will park in a well-lit area at work, and when I leave work I will have a security guard accompany me to my car
When driving home, if problems occur I can lock my door and put on my emergency flashers and/or honk the horn
On bus routes, I will remain in the bus and ask the driver to call the police
I will do my shopping and conduct other business while my abuser is at work
If my abuser attempts to intimidate, harass, or threaten me in the store, I will go to the manager and ask him/her to call the police
If my partner is waiting for me in the store parking lot I will call the police
I will use another bank and do my banking while my abuser is at work
I will take extra steps to avoid a confrontation with my abuser

SAFETY PLAN FOR CHILDREN WHO ARE IN A VIOLENT SITUATION

Help them develop realistic safety plans to minimize the risk of violence
Keep change in a safe place to use a pay phone to call police and/or teach children how to use your cell phone to call for help
Plan which friend/neighbor’s house they could run to for protection and to call 911
Teach children their first and last name, phone number, address, and parent’s names
Practice the ‘code word’ to be used in a crisis as a signal to call for help
Teach your children that if a parent or other adult is threatening to kill them, their siblings, or anyone else - they should run out of the house, go to a friend/neighbor’s house, and call for help

SAFETY IN MY RESIDENCE

Change locks on windows and doors
Install a security system
Wedge poles/sticks against the doors and windows and purchase additional locks
Install a lighting system with motion detectors
Check smoke detectors and ensure your fire extinguishers are working properly
Check with the local domestic violence agency to obtain a ‘safeline’ phone, which is directly linked to 911
Purchase a phone with a speed dial option for your children to use
Inform your daycare provider who can and cannot pick up your children

SAFETY AND EMOTIONAL HEALTH AND WELL BEING

When I feel down and want to return to a potentially abusive relationship, I can call _____________________ at __________________ for support and guidance.
Support groups are designed to educate me about violence and about my options. I can get help and support from women who have left violent relationships.
If I have to talk to my partner, I will take someone with me.
If I am frightened of my partner, I can obtain a TPO (Temporary Protection Order) or a Stalking & Harassment Order through the courts.
I know that advocates are available to help me through the legal system.

DEPRESSION, COUNSELING, DRUG OR ALCOHOL ABUSE

I understand that the dynamics of domestic violence can be frightening and very traumatic for me and for my children. It is okay to ask for help.
I understand that my regular support systems, (family, friends) might become frustrated because they do not know how to help me.
I will carefully consider the consequences of using alcohol and drugs.
I know that I am responsible for my actions and I will not jeopardize my safety or that of my children.
If I have thoughts of suicide, become depressed, or feel isolated, I will call a victim advocate, a friend, or a family member.
I know I can seek counseling through domestic violence agencies.
I know that I can call _____________________ at_____________________ for support and guidance.
If I become overwhelmed, frustrated, and need a break, I know I can take a time out and call the Domestic Violence
Agency where there is parenting and other support systems in place to help me.